Moving Through Fear: How Fear is Part of Our Life

by Susan Turnbull

Fear is defined as an emotional response to an unknown or impending danger. Fear can create feelings of apprehension, anxiety, dread, panic, alarm, fright, or terror.

Fear is an emotion I know very well. Many years ago I chose to learn how to transcend my own fears during a journey of self-discovery. It's my choice each and every day to not let fear hold me back from what I choose to do with my life.

It has been said that "Fear is the thief of all dreams." I see this every day in my coaching practice. Fear takes away our choices. It keeps us from doing the things we need, want, and desire. It consumes our energy and severely limits our quality of life, leaving us feeling frustrated and stuck.

Living in fear is all about choices. You can choose to move through the fear and go forward, or you can choose to stand still. Many of the fears we feel have nothing to do with a real threat or danger. Instead, they rob us of our life, our true purpose.

Every day in my practice I meet many courageous women who have chosen to face their fear of failure, fear of success, fear of finding their voice, fear of setting boundaries, fear of starting a business, fear of relationships, etc. Once they take the first step toward moving through their fears, they become stronger, more self-confident, and move faster towards their goals.

Now, as if our own day-to-day fears weren't enough to deal with, the September 11th attack on our nation has brought us new fear and uncertainty. For some, the fear is enough to push us into a state of paralysis. It's a feeling that life is out of control and we are helpless to do anything. We wonder what it is we can do.

I want you to know that miraculous things happen to those who consciously choose to move through their fear. The slightest move forward begins to create feelings of inner strength and renewed confidence you may not have known existed. You gain strength in certain skills and abilities. Even future setbacks can be growth experiences. You learn more about yourself, your wants, and your desires. New opportunities open for self-discovery.

Here are some ideas of things you can do right now to begin to move through the fear:

First, understand that what you focus on expands; therefore, limit the news and images you are seeing, reading, and hearing on a day-to-day basis.

Next, when you feel a surge of fear in your stomach or chest, STOP, BREATHE and at that moment VISUALIZE exactly what it is you DO want. Check in with yourself and see what your "self-talk" is at that moment. You do have the power to choose your thoughts at that moment.

Also, understand that you can't change what you don't acknowledge. It may be helpful to take some quiet time to make a list of all of the things you are afraid of. Actually write them down. You may discover through the simple act of identifying your fears that many of the things you are afraid of are much larger in your mind than they are in reality.

While you're writing, try this: Write a letter to Fear. Give it a personality. "Thank" Fear for helping you on your path of self-discovery. Explain to Fear your plans for the future, and why it is no longer necessary for it to accompany you on your journey. When you've finished your letter, burn it. Visualize your fears going up in smoke.

One of the most empowering things you can do is be conscious of those around you. As soon as you "step out of yourself and into another," something magical happens. Really listen to others. Give them comfort. You are sure to find friends, family members - or even strangers - more fearful than you are. Giving of yourself brings you peace and power. Note that there's a big difference between "giving yourself away" and "giving of yourself." One depletes you; the other empowers you.

In his inaugural speech, Nelson Mandela said, "It is not the dark we fear the most, but our light. When we allow our light to shine, we automatically give others permission to do the same."

Coaching isn't counseling. My focus is not on interpreting my client's feelings and behaviors, but rather on providing my clients with tools they can use to take action, to move forward, right now.

Nothing will change until you take the first step.

Fear begins in our minds and steals our dreams. Empowerment resides in our hearts. Step into your light, move through your fear, and claim who you really are.

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