Once we drove from Los Angeles to Minneapolis. If I hadn’t prepared properly for the trip, I’m convinced that we wouldn’t have arrived sane and my relatives would have had to take in the children while we recuperated—separately. We drove a planned number of miles each day and reserved a hotel at each stop. That way, we wouldn’t be looking for one like we did on not-so-well planned trip in Dallas-Fort Worth—at midnight. Then, I refused to leave the safety of my van, citing several police cars in the parking lot and countless hotel guests out on the balcony watching the excitement. Lesson learned: Make reservations. The price includes peace of mind.

We stayed in four different hotels on that trip from L.A. to Minnesota. Even if it’s only one night in a hotel on the way to your familial paradise, you can save time and frustration getting everyone from the car to the hotel room if you prepare one bathroom bag for the whole family. I also prepared one big brown grocery bag with pajamas and clothes for the next day. I brought the bathroom bag and one clothes bag in each night. In the morning, the jammies would go into the bag for the next day, and the dirty clothes could stay in the brown paper bag until we got to a washing machine. It worked like a charm in preserving our sanity and our relationship.

When we visited Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm, we found these places overwhelming. As soon as we walked through the gates, everyone wanted to go somewhere different—right now! Find a map to the parks at the hotel or on the Web. Plan your route together as a family, making sure everyone has some input and gets to make some choices. If you don’t do this beforehand, you’ll be standing there in the middle of a blacktop with the colorful landscape swirling around you and children pulling at you because you can’t decide where to go first.

Safety is essential with small children. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve counted to four, I could have paid for all our vacations. Theme parks, rest areas, and campgrounds are riddled with strangers. Teach children it is very important for them to stay with you all the time. Make it a rule to hold hands with smaller children everywhere you go. Some families wear the same color T-shirts when they are on an outing so it’s easy for kids and parents to distinguish their own from the gazillion other people milling about. Instruct children that if they do get lost, they should approach a woman with children for help. This is their safest option. Vacations are no time to relax on safety issues.

One of the biggest reasons we go on family vacations is to make memories with our kids. Seriously, if we meant for vacations to be really “relaxing,” we’d drop the kids off at Grandma’s and go to a spa for a week. Expectations are high leading up to family vacations, but things like tired children, flat tires, miscommunications, and sudden illnesses can shoot those expectations right out of our firework-sparkled skies. Whatever the moment brings, live in it—whether that moment is holding a trash can under the head of your little boy as he vomits up his latest meal, or whether you’re checking out the amazing photo your kids just posed for on the roller coaster.

Prepare for the trip to minimize work and decision-making on the road. Teach your children safety, and preserve the memories with video, photos, and lots of conversation.

Lisa Ragsdale lives in Albuquerque with her husband, Tim, and their four children. She teaches English at Central New Mexico Community College.